It was the third day in a row that I called in. I couldn’t find the strength to go to work. If I wanted to keep my job I would have to bring in a Doctor’s note. I had been crying uncontrollably for three days. I felt broken. I didn’t know if a doctor could help me. I didn’t have insurance. I would have to go to the local clinic.

I remember walking up the steps to the clinic. I tried my best to keep it together but tears kept coming. I get in line to be checked in. Two people a head of me check in and take a seat. It’s my turn to talk. She asked me why I was there. I said, “I need to see a doctor I keep crying and I don’t know why.” She asked if I had insurance I told her no and she sent me to the end of the room to a window. A woman in the window helped me fill out some paperwork to start County Medical Service Program (CMSP). I sat and waited till my name was called to be seen. The clinic was clean. Adults and children were all waiting to be seen. I was scared. I was finally called. The nurse took me to a room. She checked my blood pressure and my heart rate. She said the doctor would be in soon and then she left. After a few moments the doctor came in. He had long grey hair, glasses and reminded me of an old hippie. He asked me simple questions like what brings me in today and how am I feeling. I began crying as I answered him, telling him I cry at the drop of a hat and I had no energy. I felt sad and numb. He left for a moment. When he came back he said he would be referring me to another doctor in the clinic that knew how to help me. He also started me on an anti-depressent. It would be the first of many pills I would try.